谢谢你纸梯

你说你没有别人的爸爸能干。你只是一个纸梯，什么也做不了。

我说我愿意一路坐纸梯。

去年冬天，你和你妈妈陪我去北京读书。在一个下雪下雨的日子，你一手拿着一袋腊肉，坐了三四辆公交车到老师家门口。我还记得你和老师说话的样子，还有冻裂的大手。你走的时候一直要求老师多照顾我，好像那时候你给了一辈子的感谢。

你陪我买寄宿服。结账的时候发现少了一件东西，就让你排队买购物车。回来的时候发现你坐在旁边的椅子上，在购物车上睡着了。歪着头，轻轻打呼噜。来回拿东西只用了三分钟，但是你太累了。那一刻，我在你身边站了很久，盯着你，不忍叫醒你。喧闹的超市突然在我心中变得寂静。

18年来第一次这么近距离的观察你——我出生时第一个抱着我的男人，我生病时照顾我的男人，还有那个对妈妈说“如果你有儿子，我们可以保护你，如果你有女儿，我会保护你的母女”的男人。随着我的成长，我已经快半个世纪了。

想到这，我被“近半百岁”这个词吓坏了。我无法想象几十年后你吐不清，吃的像嚼蜡一样的日子。不知道从什么时候开始，你就变得啰嗦了

话，爱关灯。你开始变得邋遢，坐久了会变得痛苦，爬三楼会变得疲惫。你以前很帅。我的成长似乎是基于你的衰老，我成长的养分似乎是你的青春活力。

“秋风草正走”似乎是你的写照。那个曾经把我扛在肩上的男人，现在即使提着一桶水上楼，也气喘吁吁。

你是一个完美的父亲，而我是一个不完美的女儿。我努力让自己变得完美，只是为了告诉别人，我配做你的女儿。此刻，我在考场上写了你，我知道你一定在学校门口焦急地等待着我的胜利。我给了你太多的希望，我不想让你失望。

你曾经告诉我，你不是大官，也不是有头有脸的人。你不能像别人的爸爸一样当铁梯，让孩子越爬越高。你只是一个纸梯，什么也做不了。

我说，谢谢你的纸梯，让我比别人更坚强，更完美。我愿意拿着纸梯一路走下去。

参考翻译：

You say you are not as capable as other people's fathers. You are just a paper ladder, which can do nothing.

I said I would like to take the paper ladder all the way.

Last winter, you and your mother accompanied me to study in Beijing. On a snowy and rainy day, you took a bag of bacon in one hand and took three or four buses to the teacher's door. I still remember the way you talked with the teacher and the big hands that were frozen and cracked. When you left, you kept asking your teacher to take more care of me, and it seemed that you gave thanks for all your life at that time.

You accompany me to buy boarding clothes. When I checked out, I found one thing missing, so I told you to wait in line with the shopping cart. When I came back, I found that you were sitting in a chair beside you and fell asleep on the shopping cart. Tilt your head and snore softly. It took only three minutes to get something back and forth, but you were so tired. At that moment, I stood by you for a long time, staring at you, and couldn't bear to wake you up. The noisy supermarket suddenly became silent in my heart.

For the first time in 18 years, I observed you so closely-the man who was the first to hold me when I was born, the man who took care of me when I was ill, and the man who said to his mother, "If you have a son, we can protect you, and if you have a daughter, I will protect your mother and daughter". As I grew up, I was nearly half a century old.

Thinking about this, I was frightened by the word "nearly half a hundred years old". I can't imagine the days when you can't spit clearly and eat like chewing wax decades later. I don't know when it started, but you became repetitive

Words, love to turn off the lights. You start to get sloppy, become painful when you sit for a long time, and become exhausted when you climb the third floor. You used to be so handsome. My growth seems to be based on your aging, and the nutrient of my growth seems to be your youthful vitality.

"Autumn wind and grass are leaving" seems to be your portrayal. The man who used to carry me on his shoulder is now panting even when he carries a bucket of water upstairs.

You are a perfect father, but I am an imperfect daughter. I try my best to make myself perfect, just to tell others that I deserve to be your daughter. At the moment, I wrote about you in the examination room, and I know that you must be anxiously waiting for my triumph at the school gate. I gave you too much hope, and I don't want to disappoint you.

You once told me that you are not a big official, nor a prominent person. You can't be an iron ladder like other people's fathers, so that children can climb higher and higher. You are just a paper ladder, which can do nothing.

I said, thank you for the paper ladder, which makes me stronger and more perfect than others. I am willing to take the paper ladder and go all the way.