教育小孩子科学方法

事情弄清楚前，先别着急给问题定性，更不要劈头盖脸一顿骂。

先冷静下来听听孩子的说法，站在孩子的角度去了解一下事情的原委。

让孩子有机会说话，即使他真的有错，也会因为有机会解释而比较甘心认错。

很多时候，作为大人的我们总是想当然地从自己的所谓经历和经验出发，往往会误解孩子，以后我们不妨试着放低姿态，把自己“还原”成为孩子，也许会有意想不到的收获。

2

“你的感受如何？”

——让孩子的情绪有个出口

了解事情的经过后，先不要急着教育孩子。

孩子心里受到的冲击是主观的感受，没有对错。很多时候，我们只是需要把自己的感受说出来而已。

科学研究表明，当一个人情绪强烈的时候，外在刺激不容易被脑部吸收。

也就是说，当一个人还有情绪的时候，别人说什么他都会听不进去。总要等到他心情平静下来，才可能冷静思考。

所以，如果我们希望孩子能够听得进去我们的意见，我们就需要先同理他的感受，让他的情绪有个出口。

孩子冷静之后，可以问他第三个问题。

3

“你想做什么？”

——知道孩子的内心想法

这时不管孩子说出什么惊人之语，也不要惊慌，更不要害怕，而是冷静地接着问TA第四个问题。

4

“那你觉得有什么办法？”

——让孩子自己说出自己的办法

在这个阶段，我们就要尊重孩子的“童言无忌”，给予孩子意见的足够尊重。

我们也可以和孩子一起想点子，为孩子出谋划策，和TA一起去想解决的方法。这样，孩子今后再遇到问题的时候，也会想着要向你求助。

等到再也想不出任何点子的时候，就可以问TA第五个问题。

5

“你这么做，后果会如何？”

——引导孩子思考结果

让孩子去思考，并且了解，每一样的解决方法背后都有一个你需要承担的后果，你是否可以接受这个后果？

如果这个时候，孩子不能思考明白。家长就要帮助孩子理清思路，告诉孩子什么后果是TA必须承担的。但是这里父母应该避免说教，只要陈述事实就可以了。

6

“你决定怎么做？”

——让孩子自己思考下一步行动

当分析完所有的情况和后果之后，孩子也会权衡利弊，选择最有利的解决方式。而且，这一般也是最合理，最明智的选择。

即便他的选择不符合你的期待，也要尊重孩子的决定。如果你出尔反尔，以后恐怕孩子再也不会相信你。

何况，就算TA选择错误，从这个错误中也可以学习到更珍贵难忘的教训。

7

“你希望我做什么？”

——让孩子知道父母的位置

当孩子说出自己希望如何帮助TA时，家长一定要积极表示支持。父母的支持是孩子坚强的后盾，这会让孩子更有信心。

等到事情过去之后，再问TA最后一个问题。

8

“下次我们该怎么做？”

——让孩子学会反思

等事情过去以后，给孩子审视自己的机会。反思自己的判断和解决办法是否有效，增强自己的判断能力。

不少家长认为，自己的孩子年龄小，不具备解决问题的能力，实际上，即使是很小的孩子，也会运用一些策略和办法来解决问题。

所以当孩子犯了错误之后，家长不妨试试先问以上8个问题，多练习几次，孩子就会有自己解决问题的能力，不需要我们操心。

参考翻译：

Before getting things clear, don't rush to characterize the problem, let alone scold it.

Calm down and listen to what the child said, and understand the whole story from the perspective of the child.

Let the child have a chance to speak, even if he is really wrong, he will be more willing to admit it because he has the opportunity to explain.

Many times, as adults, we always take our so-called experiences and experiences for granted, and often misunderstand children. In the future, we might as well try to lower our posture and "restore" ourselves as children. There may be unexpected gains.

2

"How do you feel?"

-Let the child's emotions have an outlet

After understanding what happened, don't rush to educate your children.

The shock to the child's heart is a subjective feeling, there is no right or wrong. In many cases, we just need to express our feelings.

Scientific research shows that when a person is emotionally strong, external stimuli are not easily absorbed by the brain.

In other words, when a person is still emotional, he will not listen to what others say. He has to wait until he calms down before he can think calmly.

Therefore, if we want our children to listen to our opinions, we need to empathize with his feelings and let his emotions have an outlet.

After the child calms down, you can ask him the third question.

3

"What do you want to do?"

——Know the child's inner thoughts

At this time, no matter what shocking words the child said, don't panic, let alone be afraid, but calmly continue to ask TA the fourth question.

4

"Then what do you think is a way?"

——Let the children tell their own way

At this stage, we must respect the children's "children's words" and give them sufficient respect for their opinions.

We can also think of ideas with children, make suggestions for children, and think of solutions with them. In this way, when children encounter problems in the future, they will also think about asking you for help.

When you can't think of any more ideas, you can ask TA the fifth question.

5

"If you do this, what will be the consequences?"

——Guide children to think about results

Let the children think about it and understand that behind every solution there is a consequence that you need to bear. Can you accept this consequence?

If this time, the child cannot think clearly. Parents should help their children clarify their thinking and tell them what consequences the TA must bear. But here parents should avoid preaching and just state the facts.

6

"What do you decide to do?"

——Let the child think about the next move for himself

After analyzing all the situations and consequences, the child will weigh the pros and cons and choose the most advantageous solution. Moreover, this is generally the most reasonable and wise choice.

Even if his choice does not meet your expectations, respect your child's decision. If you go back, I'm afraid the child will never believe you again.

What's more, even if the TA chooses wrongly, he can learn more precious and unforgettable lessons from this mistake.

7

"What do you want me to do?"

-Let the child know the position of the parent

When the child tells how he hopes to help the TA, the parent must actively support it. The support of parents is the strong backing of the child, which will make the child more confident.

Wait until the matter is over, then ask TA one last question.

8

"What should we do next time?"

-Let children learn to reflect

After the matter is over, give the child a chance to examine himself. Reflect on whether your own judgments and solutions are effective, and strengthen your own judgment ability.

Many parents believe that their children are young and do not have the ability to solve problems. In fact, even very young children will use some strategies and methods to solve problems.

So when the child makes a mistake, parents may as well try to ask the above 8 questions first, practice a few more times, the child will have the ability to solve the problem on its own, and we don’t need to worry about it.