天上之母

幻想着她会再次睁开那双漂亮的眼睛，然后站起来，走出这座冰棺，无论是诈尸或是复活都好。

但这只能是一次充满深情与童真的妄想哭了。

她刚被抬来的那会儿，就有一群人在门口打麻将，吵吵闹闲，不绝于耳。起初我很愤怒，但又只能安慰自己，也许这是一种习俗吧，热闹热闹，这里，的确太冷清了。

我用手掌贴着她的脸颊，一丝温温的热度传来，我十分欣喜，脑子里竟然浮现着她苏醒过来的场景，我又去握她的手，但她的手被压在了身下，我舍不得用力拖开，于是只能轻轻贴着她的手背，冰冷的温度，顺着我的手，传遍了整颗心脏。

晚上还有道场上的很多事等着我去做，这里只有我一个人披麻戴孝，但我不觉得孤独，因为我总觉得，她在看着我呢。

人群陆续到达，我不断的向每一个前来悼念的人下脆，每跪一个人，想起的是她那双漂亮却带着水色的眼神，现在那水却顺着我的眼角流了下来。

时间慢慢远逝，那些哭过喊过或始终面无表情的人都走光了，只留下几个守夜的嫌冷，砍了条板凳，烧起一堆火，围坐着嗑瓜子，说说笑笑，我打了几个盹，每次都被寒冷刺醒，即使挨着火盆，也无济于事。

天渐渐亮了，到了第二天早上。终于还是到了分别的时刻。

昨天抬她进来的人，又再次抬起她，走进了火葬室，我站在门口，突然就哭得不可抑制，但我想我是为她的解脱而感到高兴吧。

我安静的站在一间小屋门外，直到门缓缓打开，我跪下，双手接住了那炽热的骨灰瓷，那时，门里的人说:“妈妈会保佑你的。”

我双手捧着她，即使烫手也毫不在意，也许这时，她也在里面静静的看着我，而此时，我手托着的，是她古老而永存不灭的灵魂。

天堂是永远的家，世上只是学习的地方。

我说:“我像个男人一样，酒脱的送你回家。”

I fantasize that she will open her beautiful eyes again, then stand up and walk out of this ice coffin, whether it's a fake corpse or a resurrection.

But this can only be a cry full of affection and childlike innocence.

When she was first brought here, a group of people were playing mahjong at the door, making a lot of noise. At first, I was angry, but I could only comfort myself. Maybe it's a custom. It's lively and lively. It's really too deserted here.

I pressed my palm against her cheek, and a little warm heat came. I was very happy. The scene of her waking up came to my mind. I went to hold her hand again, but her hand was pressed under me, and I couldn't bear to drag it away, so I could only gently press the back of her hand. The cold temperature followed my hand and spread all over my heart.

There are many things waiting for me to do in the Dojo at night. I am the only one here, Dai Xiao, but I don't feel lonely, because I always feel that she is watching me.

The crowd arrived one after another, and I kept offering myself to everyone who came to mourn. Everyone who knelt down remembered her beautiful but watery eyes, but now the water flowed down the corner of my eye.

Time passed slowly, and all those who cried or shouted or remained expressionless were gone, leaving only a few vigils too cold. I cut down a bench, lit a fire, sat around eating melon seeds, talked and laughed, and I dozed off several times, but I was awakened by the cold every time, even if I was next to the brazier, it didn't help.

It was getting light, and the next morning. Finally, it's time to part.

The person who carried her in yesterday lifted her up again and walked into the cremation room. I stood at the door and suddenly cried uncontrollably, but I think I was happy for her relief.

I stood quietly outside the door of a small room until the door slowly opened. I knelt down and caught the hot ashes with my hands. At that time, the people in the door said, "Mom will bless you."

I held her in my hands, even if it was hot, I didn't care. Maybe at this time, she was watching me quietly inside, and at this time, what I was holding in my hand was her ancient and immortal soul.

Heaven is an eternal home, and the world is just a place to study.

I said, "I'll take you home drunk like a man."